I’m an Integrative therapist - what’s that?
I’ve spent the last ten years tweaking my approach based on the latest research as to what works in therapy and how we create change.
As an integrative therapist, I’ve found it most helpful to draw on different approaches to best tailor the therapy to each individual client. It’s a bit like having a bigger toolbox. Amongst other approaches, I draw on my experience of Psychodynamic and Person centred theory, Acceptance and commitment therapy, Internal family systems therapy, and Mindfulness based cognitive therapy. While also following the latest neuroscience developments to enhance the effectiveness of my practice.
There are many therapeutic approaches; a whole world of techniques, confusing acronyms and theories used by therapists.
But, time and again, research has shown the most important aspect of successful therapy is the therapeutic nature of the relationship between you and your therapist. Essentially this is about the connection you feel with your therapist; do you feel understood by them, that they ‘get you’, and can support you with the difficulties you are experiencing.
My therapy qualification and experience
I am a qualified counsellor and psychotherapist, with a foundation degree in counselling, and diplomas in therapeutic counselling and relational mindfulness. I am an accredited member of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP), and have been working as a therapist for more than nine years.
Though you could say I've been training for this role all my adult life, learning about myself and other people. I've also worked as a mentor, harassment and bullying advisor, Mental Health First Aider, and developed a mental health peer support group.
Nowadays, alongside one-to-one therapy sessions, I like to explore my creative side through producing guided meditations, writing articles, and the occasional Instagram post.
But what’s therapy really like with me?
As your therapist I want what’s best for you, and will help you work through what it is you are struggling with. I will guide you in getting to know yourself, with tenderness. I’ll bring fascination, playfulness, curiosity and lightness. Helping you cultivate these qualities too.
I’ll join you in the depths of your pain and ground you when you feel most lost. I will listen, but I will challenge you too. At times we may be gently accepting how things are, at other times fiercely confronting stories and beliefs that keep you stuck. I’ll offer my insights, and observations, while encouraging you to develop trust in your own wisdom and intuition.
And if that all sounds a bit wishy washy, I’ve laid out my building blocks for therapy and change. Some, or all of these, may be a part of your therapy experience.
“The cognitive aspect of understanding and insight is just the gateway to deeper life-changing wisdom. Liberating insight involves our whole being – intellect, emotions, heart and mind”
The building blocks of therapy and change
Have a space just to ‘be’
Sometimes, all that is needed, is a non-judgemental space to fully express yourself. To feel seen and heard. To be completely who you are. This alone can be hugely powerful. You might have an aha moment in the session, feel an emotional release or that a weight has been lifted.
Cultivate positive emotions
What you put your attention on grows. Thanks to the default negative bias built into our brains (yes, we all have it, to one degree or another), we can often get fixated on negative thoughts, feelings and experiences. It’s easy to pass over the good stuff. This isn’t about toxic positivity, or denial of our actual experience. It’s about be open to how your life might benefit from engaging with qualities such as joy, gratitude, compassion, acceptance and forgiveness. Happiness is a skill, it has to be practiced.
Insight & self-awareness = change
I will support you in getting to know yourself better. We’ll explore your younger years, family dynamics, adverse events, alongside present-day thoughts, feelings and behaviours. We’ll look at the interplay between your own personal history, and our shared human experience. This awareness will increase the potential for more conscious choices in your life, as well bringing more self-compassion which can be derived from understanding how our past shapes us.
Build habits: repetition, repetition…
We have evolved to make the most efficient use of our available energy. To automate our thoughts and motivations though seeking patterns and focusing on short-term goals. Our mind does this through developing habits, routines, rituals, biases and beliefs. For change to stick, we need to unpick and rewire our (sometimes unhelpful) automatic habitual ways of thinking and behaving. Our brain does this through neuroplasticity ~ the growth, and pruning, of tiny neural pathways in our brain that influence how you think, feel and behave. And the way to hack into the neuroplasticity is to build new habits through consistent, and persistent, small steps which can lead to big changes.
Using what is felt in the session
How you relate to others will likely show up (in various ways) between you and I in our sessions. In therapy, familiar relational patterns can play out. Even more so if the therapist reminds you (even at an unconscious level) of someone important in your life. We might start to notice regular moments where you feel criticised, angry, or a familiar need to apologise, a concern for how I am feeling, even shifts in body language. It’s a brilliant opportunity for us to make the unconscious conscious, and better understand how you relate to others. Experiential learning in therapy is often the best way to learn. It’s like doing your homework with your teacher rather than alone.
Learn to regulate your nervous system
Learning how to regulate your nervous system is essential, particularly for those experiencing anxiety or depression. For anyone who is anxious, or experiences PTSD, you’ll be very familiar with the hyper-arousal state (increase in heartbeat, temperature, tension, hypervigilance, overwhelmed). And for those with depression the hypo-arousal state will feel very much the opposite (numb, shutdown, withdraw, tired). If you arrive at the session feeling dysregulated I’ll help you manage those feelings, as well as teaching you how to self-regulate by yourself.
Take a holistic look at your life
The impact of talking therapy will be limited if the fundamentals of your health go unattended. I use a biopsychosocial approach which recognises the importance of tending to the biology of your body, psychology of your mind, and your environment around you. We’ll check-in with your diet, sleep habits, sources of stress, levels of exercise and movement, and your needs for social connection. Don’t underestimate the importance of these fundamentals (take a look at the research for exercise vs therapy vs antidepressants). We’ll also hold some space for the spiritual realm and the greater mysteries of life.
Heal the wounds of trauma
Trauma is not so much what happened to us, but rather what happened inside of us. How it left its mark through intrusive thoughts and memories, an overly reactive nervous system, or unpredictable mood changes. I use a trauma-informed approach. Sometimes talking about the traumatic experience, within a safe, trusting, and collaborative relationship, can be enough to reduce the symptoms and regain a sense of agency and autonomy. More stubborn trauma can benefit from something called memory reconsolidation. A process in which a traumatic memory is retrieved from its long-term storage and brought in to working memory. Once here, it becomes temporarily malleable and is open to being modified by new information. You don’t even need to share everything that happened in order for this to work. We can access this process, found naturally in the brain, using therapy methods like EMDR (eye movement desensitisation and reprocessing) and IFS.
Relate to your inner world with compassion and authority
One way I like conceptualise how our mind works, is to consider ourselves to be a collection of different parts (almost like personalities). You might already have a sense of how fragmented your mind can feel at times, as if there are different competing parts pulling you this way and that. Giving you a hard time about stuff, punishing you, feeling guilty, seeking perfection. Using the IFS model, we come to understand how these parts have positive intentions, formed during our younger years as a way to protect us from getting hurt by maintaining safety with our caregivers. Their intention is positive, but their affect can be harmful to us. Our goal is to access a place within us where we can relate to these parts, rather than from them. That might sound a bit woo-woo, but there’s some pretty good research behind it and it can help us heal deep emotional wounds.
Identify values and find your inner guide
Values are process oriented qualities and behaviours. They give direction and meaning; who, and how, you want to be in the world. Having a sense direction, or purpose, underpinned by a set of values you are familiar with, can bring a sense of ease, empowerment, stability and meaning as you flow through the unpredictability of life. There is really something incredibly empowering (and rewarding) (although not easy, at all) about being able to consistently act in alignment with what feels like a true sense of yourself. As humans we seek meaning. There is no meaning to life, but rather it’s down to us to choose what makes a meaningful life.
Develop a set of tools
I want you to feel like you are equipped with a toolkit full of practical ideas, which you can implement when you feel stuck. Whether it be when your mood is low, you feel anxious, or when communicating with a partner, making a decision, reaching a goal, or processing your emotional experiences. This might include breathing techniques, mindfulness exercises, journaling, and visualisation.